Recently, 34 United States Air Force officers have been accused of cheating on a monthly exam that tests their knowledge of missile launch systems, the kind of thing you really don’t want to make a mistake on. This is just yet another in a list of embarrassments, which includes safety lapses and binge drinking. Binge drinking? Who do they think they are, Congress?
Frankly, since the Cold War ended, we’ve let our guard down. By winning, we’ve lost our edge. What we really need is a good enemy to keep us on our toes.
True, nobody likes or trusts Vladimir Putin. Yes, he has the old KGB gravitas. But let’s be honest; the modern Russia hasn’t been the bogeyman the old USSR was. We did great things in the name of battling the Evil Empire–not always good things, but great things. We built arsenals and backyard bomb shelters. We ducked and covered. We even collected moon rocks, just to show up those damn commies. Now, we depend on the Russians to taxi us to our own space station! (Yes, I know it’s the international space station, but never let mere facts get in the way of a good rant.)
But I suspect the communists are still with us, just more insidious. They’re using capitalism and market-demand economics against us. They’re getting our children addicted to video games, text messaging and social media, inducing a collective Attention Deficit Disorder, making them care more about Kardashians than the real realities. They’re softening us up, so they can strike back. Yes, The Empire Strikes Back! Who would have thought it? (Okay, George Lucas, but besides him?)
Why should we blame the communists? Well, if we didn’t, we’d have to take a long, hard look in the mirror. And no one wants that.
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The Curmudgeon Files 